Tuesday, January 04, 2005

Trying Again…

I’m gonna try again. This is my second chance. Am I under pressure to perform? God says the pressure is His. So I wanna taste grace so real it is undeniable. I don’t know how it is going to be possible for me to relax, but as far as I can remember, that’s what I’ll do.

The devil says, if I take this attitude, maybe I’ll fail. One, he is a liar. Two, even if I do fail, I fall into His grace. Into His perfect will. SO WHAT IF I FAIL? Pastor says there are two different types of “bo chap”. I believe one is irresponsibility. The other is a state of fearlessness. A state where I can fear not the consequences, fear not the outcome. SO WHAT IF I FAIL? I still live on, I still go to heaven don’t I? I am still an eternal spirit being.

Success in the world is NOT equivalent to success in God’s kingdom. Am I perfect? No. Will I ever fall out of God’s will? Maybe. But will I ever fall out of His plan? Never.

Having written thus far, I don’t feel liberated by any means. The emotions are still there. The flesh. The soul. The body. I am still afraid to a measure. It does not mean I have been lying, it just means that these problems have been in me all this while. And God is going to deal with it.

I’m not going to allow any career, dream, relationship or girl be a substitute god. I described my dreams. But between them and God, surely I can only choose Him. No desire or dream should be greater than my desire for Him. I know I will probably slip away from all these that I have said, if and when worry and anxiety intrude. But the battle is won. Jesus suffered in the flesh, that I may be dead to sin, and live in the spirit. That is my inheritance.

In this world you will have tribulations, but take courage. I have overcome the world. John 16:33


shayna.eileen said...

yup, u r not living in denial. u have admitted that there is a challenge in ur life and therefore now need to make a choice to stand on wat u believe.
Jesus is the King! King over ur instructors, King over ur course, King over ur flight, King over ur tests. AMEN. =)

Anonymous said...

sounds like u r confused n struggling with certain decision. My idea is God yesterday, today or tomorrow is still the same God. He will care for u but you will also have to do your part in taking care of yourself.
Whatever path one chooses, one has to hold own responsibility n not for GOD to hold it for u. Relaxing is important as you will not feel too stress over situation. However, stress is a kind of motivation for one to achieve. The most important thing for one to remember is to do your best and have
a clear mind that u have done your best. 'BO-CHAP'is a negative form of having no fear
Cheer up and be more open. Be positive and you will achieve.

Anonymous said...

Hi boy,
How are you? I finally got to know how to communicate with you. How slowww Ah..Ah.
How do you feel after returning back? Feeling like you missing us even more?
Sending u few verses that you may like.
Always Create Your Own Dreams and Live Life to the Fullest:
Dreams can come true
if you take the time to
think about what you want in life
Get to know yourself
Choose your goals carefully
Find out what is important to you
Don't be afraid to make mistakes
Laugh and have a good time
Open yourslef up to love
Live life to the fullest
Create your own dreams and
follow them until they are a reality.

I got to realise that I can keep u posted of Che's latest. Her baby is 3.16kg - looks very cute with big round eyes, ears snuggly at the sides of the face. Her lips are thin and small. It is very cute to watch her moving her lips, feeling for things to suck.
Che got discharged on the 5-01-05. She is very blessed to have a wonderful mother-in-law who takes good care of care - reminds her to rest as much as she can. Che does not even have to bathe the baby, her MIL will do it for her throughout her confinement.
That is all that I can keep you updated. Take care and be strong.
Mummy loves you.

Anonymous said...

Hi Mr anonymous - you sound like a good guy but you got alot to learn.

" In defense of my son"

I know my son better . Am sure He is not confused. If you know the bible well, one thing He said do not worry.
worry expresses concern or anxiety. I think you need to hear what Pastor Prince talk about this subject of "Bo chap" on the 7 th jan BA. ( do yourself a favor get dat tape it will help you well ).
Stress will kill you. According to research, they have found out that stress causes lots of ailments especially stomach ailments. There was a guy who works so hard cos he worrys about whether he can provide for the family as well as paying off his debts. so much so he works seven days a week. today he is 40 years old major stroke - only his eyes can see.

Remember the sower who sowed the seed. some seeds fell on roots and thorns ( cant remember exact words ), the seeds grew and perish. Remember jesus wore the thorns as His crown on the cross - He asked you to exchanged it for His Crown of Peace and Joy. He said He will take care of things. He said Dont Be Anxious! God Cannot Lie! and He wont! I was tot as a management staff that money is the worst motivator but I believed Stress is the worst motivator - its the very tool the devil uses to destroy man!

By all means plan work but leave off the stress! You got problems ask God. Didn't He said " ask and you shall be given". I take it literally cos that the message to me.

Let me share a little of what I learned recently. Mr Tsunami is the work of the devil. Read Luke chapter 21. Jesus was prophesied that it will happen Cos in that chapter ( I think its best if you get the Luminary Bible - I think thatsthe spelling - it tells you more clearly) The Sea and the waves will roar and the nations will be perplexed. Are the nations disturbed. if God had not interfered the devil would want more than the small number of 150000. the devil would want millions. watch it soon they will be people who claimed God is punishing them.. Read on the later part of the chapter, the devil is going to used fear to destroy many. Probably so fearful that the heart stop. there are lots of non christian evidence. There was a health food company who wanted to research how is that there was these people in some high mountain able to learn around 100 years of age. Went up there, brought cameras and waited at 9 am. to interview them. guess what these people did not turn up. they took their time and only appeared around 12 noon somemore walk leisurely. They said thatsit you going to see what they eat. Saw an old lady drinking beer and another chew tobacco. these is not to encouraged you to go on these vices. The fact they lived to 100 years old is becos they BO-chap. and we are the children of the most High God - what does it say?

Hope you dont feel offended but I know you meant good
May God bless you with more wisdom. ( By the way wisdom is greater than intelligence - please dont debate on this - if you accept so be it if not - does not matter )
LincolnJoshuas' Dad