been back for 3 days now.. jus got back from the movie Phantom of the Opera.. well it requires jus a little patience, plus esp if you the type that likes musicals, then it's a good show. Quite romantic too..
reflecting back on my time in perth, and lookin forward to it again, i must say i aint very enthusiastic about it.. i read that trials will come. that they can only make us stronger, correct us, build us, change us. but in truth, the journey hurts. I read that those who are wise love correction, then i think i must be a fool. i read and hear about the life, the overflowing cup, the peace and joy.. but now i neither see nor taste it. i wish i were like elijah, hearing the sound of rain in the distace. yet can i be like david, singing psalms of expressions, crying out to God, proclaiming His goodness or questioning His inaction?
This i know in my heart. This i know above all things. That He is the Truth the Way and the Life. I cannot deny Him. Even questioning Him about my present suffering seems so wrong in my spirit. What are the trials i am gg thru compared to His suffering? Really i have not been a testimony of God during the past two months. Doubting, worrying, unable to love people who dont love me, displaying everything a Christian is not. Unvictorious. but that is all my judgement of myself isnt it? Judgement that has been poured out on His Son. and what can i help myself to change, but only to let it go.
Letting go sounds so simple, but i find it really so difficult. like labouring unto His rest. The hard part is indeed resting. but stil i must learn, and apply. I take whatever scrap falls off the table, so thirsty, so hungry. Man shall not live by bread alone. but by every Word of God. every bitter thing has become sweet. Lord, where is my measure of faith? Why cannot i bring it to bear?
But this is left of me, but to never let go of You. Never forget You. And to never quit. but that if this is not the path You want me to take, then let You be who You are. And fail me now, to succeed me in the future.
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2 comments:
Bro, I can somehow understand what you are trying to say.
Living a Christian life IS IMPOSSIBLE. Agree with this statement. But Living a Christian Life knowing that we are constantly being love by God.
In fact the role of a Christian is just to concentrate on how much Jesus Love us. The rest of it will fall into place.
Rejoice Bro for this season of life. I had my own share when i went through the Valley of Elah. Going through the Valley will surely make us stronger on the inside.
Labouring into Rest, it is an area that we just relax and enjoy the Love God have for us.
AMEN =)
I know what you are going through... God may seem far away and yet i know He is always near...infact in us for He has sealed His Word in our heart. Take courage and as I said before.. someday you look back you'll appreciate what you have gone through where not many have the opportunity. Its a test to built our courage, strength, stamina, endurance and faith ... being a christian is not easy - i been through that road...gripe bout it too ....call what it calls but you may not think you are able but ...He is able...Rejoice( have joy cos the devil wants to rob you of joy- look at verse that says joy is in the strength of the Lord) in times like this and praise Him, magnify HIm ( miniscue your prob - speak to the mountain- bold as achild of Christ)... spend time in HIs Word...as a QT...In the bible history the isrealites did not understand why by shouting Hallelujah around the walls of Jerico the walls would come down... day by day, they they trudged on...and dont see anything happen...then closer to the 7th round, cracks starts to give way, small stones making up the wall starts falling bit by bit away and they shout even louder....they did not understand but they still did it in obedience or "fear"....just by shouting hallelujah!...i believed daniel was thrown in the Lion den what do you think went through his mind). When the apostle were in prison, they contd to pray and sing song of praise to the Lord... lots of examples in the bible.. . You have experienced victory before if you remembered the 5 days before the flight test... if ever you need pray of agreement just call me... 7 months to go...a wink of an eye...My God lead you, bless and anoint you just as He had anointed King David and Joshua and many other man of God...let your faith grow.. see negatives as long term positives.. remember He gave us what we desire that our joy be fulfilled..claimed His Promises...He is above all..and all things are subdued under Him...God cant lie...just have Jesus said to His Father..Father you always hear my pray...Read Joshua and Kings (especially bout David) through this period and know that victory is in hand....know why they had victory. I commit you into His Good Hands ...May His Hand be upon you and favors abound your way...
luv
dc
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