Monday, October 17, 2005

Worship

Had quite a tough day at work. Everyday i go to work, i get a little discouraged. More often than not, it is my inadequacies that lead to it. I seem to be limited in my mental capacity to absorb things as fast as others. I feel it especially when it comes to doing daily routine tasks - like admin stuff and such. I was also told that in flight, it was not my handling that was the problem, but my mental spare capacity. I never thought i was stupid but i never thought i would struggle with something i feel i can do nothing about.

In the past weeks i realized that since my return from Australia, i had not spent as much time in the Word as i had been. Maybe it was because i had so little time left due to the travelling time. But i have decided that Jesus is going to be my first priority as it should have been since the beginning. Somewhere along the way, my behaviour had indicated that i lost sight of that.

Today i came home and worshipped God. Did it on Sunday too. As i was worshipping today, i asked for His presence. And He spoke this verse to me "How much more would your Father in Heaven give good gifts to His children?" And i remembered that good gifts in another chapter was recorded as the Holy Spirit. In an instant i was dwelling in His unmistakable presence.

I also received some revelations. Matthew 5:48 Therefore you shall be made perfect. Just as your Father in Heaven is perfect. I have been made perfect in His blood! Perfect in His eyes!
Matthew 7:12 Therefore whatever you want men to do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets. Matthew 5:17 Do not think that i came to destroy the Law or Prophets. I did not come to destroy but to fulfill. Jesus was telling them to do what they wanted men to do to them. But i believed this was to show them that it was quite difficult living a life trying to fulfill the Law. But now, Jesus has fulfilled the Law and the Prophets! This means that people will show favour to me! I believe this in spite of my circumstaces.
Matthew 8:23-27 I am in the boat! My body, soul and spirit is in the boat, rocked by the issues of life around me. And Jesus is in my boat!! Shalom will reign because as i speak, He speaks! At the word of a king and a priest, all controversies are settled!

I really need Jesus. He gives me the strength to carry on where i would otherwise have given up. In career, relationships, family, friends, life. He is the vine. My well from which i need a constant drink from to last this life.

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

I am a Donkey.

been down with the flu.. took medical leave on wed, then went to see the MO again today. Well, he gave me mc for tmr and a medical status for tmr meaning that i wont be flying tmr. My course commander decided for me to stay home on fri too since i had the flu! Haha.. so this week really is like a long break for me..

Anyways, i hope my niece is doing fine cos she had to be hospitalized recently from fever. I believe she's healed. God loves her too.

I like this illustration. I am a donkey. haha.. When Jesus rode the donkey amidst all the cheers and praises, the donkey had better know that the praises are for Jesus, not it! I am a donkey..

Kelvin coming back soon liao.. i think he'll pass lah. Maybe he'll come same sqn as me? haha.. then i'll call him junior.. hehe.. anyway it's good he's comin back.. then i no need entertain his fans liao.. so many of them enquiring when Mr Universe will be back.. haha..

Sunday, October 09, 2005

Thank You

Thank you Jesus for my life. Sometimes i forget that i have a beautiful life. At times i magnify issues and make them problems, when these things are actually "good headaches" to have. I thank You that You have redeemed me this wonderful life. I thank you for my family and friends. For my career, and for my emotions and thoughts.

Wednesday, October 05, 2005

work work work..

hmm.. been super busy recently. Yesterday i went to work at 6.. cos my work place is so far, i had to wake at 4 plus.. and that was with my dad fetching me.. ended work at 6.. against regulations actually i think. Simply absurd. Guess what.. tmr i gotta reach work by 530. to prepare for flight. Official work end time tmr is 1530. So if we end earlier than usual, it would stil be good for me to go bs.

Quite apprehensive about blogging some stuff. Since there are people looking around for things to report.. haha.

Anyways i have been looking at cars.. though i in the midst of taking my license. Only took 2 lessons so far. been looking at second hand cars that are only a year or two old. Thinking that if i can knock off thirty plus grandfrom the new car cost for the same model, it would make a good deal.. Not sure what car to buy though.. I'm sure God will lead me to the best deal when the time comes. He always has helped me when it comes to buyng stuff..

Got work to do. Well, if it rains heavily tmr morning and stops my flying, i am gonna have a little miracle to share.. haha..

Saturday, October 01, 2005

Glimpses

attended campus today.. and praise God for anointed preachers. P. Darren talked about seeing Jesus. That when we see Jesus in every situation, in every circumstance, we shall not be shaken. It is when we gain a revelation of His blood. The value, the price. And when that revelation comes into our reality, our relationship with Him jus grows stronger. I don wanna give up knowing Jesus for anything in this world.

Even amidst such a non relational subject. i believe He gave me glimpses of truth in this area of my life. It was in recent times that got me wondering if i should be looking to get into a relationship. Whereas it was clear cut in the past, the recent months have been quite blurry for me in this aspect. Lost, is really what i would use to describe myself.

I realize that what i really want, and need, is to rest in God. And simply wait. Some would say i would get nothing done this way. But i believe that God is more than my inadequacies. He can put me in the right place and the right time, and cause me to act. Well one thing i know. If i do approach a girl, i do not want it to be out of a fear of wondering what i would miss if i didnt. And if i did not approach a girl, i do not want it to be out of a fear of rejection.

I also realize this. That even if i got rejected or have a bad relationship, i know that i will surely be alright. Cause Jesus is always with me. I think He means to liberate me with this truth.

In any case, i hope that whoever reads this doesnt speculate on anything. Jus take anything i type on face value. I am who i am by His grace. And i will embrace myself, even my weaknesses, because Jesus embraces every inch of me.