Sunday, April 02, 2006

Living death...

Past few services have really been so good for me.. It's like the pastors have opened up a new door in their teachings.. Like the teachings don jus stop short anymore.. Like they suddenly know that the common members are stuck at some level and they have come down to that level to minister and teach us...

Has not been an easy period for me. Life seemed to be ebbing away. Every other aspect in my life seemed to be falling in pieces. I even felt so far from God. Like i could not sense or hear Him like i usually could anymore. i really believe that during this time i really experienced death. Life is amazing.. the zoe God given life. But death really kills. Kills you from the inside. However i believe God showed me what it is to experience death for many reasons. Maybe one day in the future i can use this experience and help others.

Going thru tough times is never easy. But it builds character. Moulds us. And i believe i have grown. God has brought and is continually bringing me to a higher level. He has made me more desperate for Him. When one seeks and desires Him deep inside. With nothing left of himself. Truly nothing left. At ground zero, where one can go no lower, He reveals Himself and just overwhelms you.

Perhaps times are not right. Perhaps blessings are too great to handle. But i choose to believe in this God of Israel. God is the same God who opened the red sea. He is the same God who died on the cross for me. And He is still the same God who lives right now inside me. And i know that no matter what, He is in control. I can see on my level. He can see my whole life. And i am blessed. I am favored. This is my Jesus bought inheritance. Holy Spirit, i want to know You on a new level of intimacy.

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