God and me.

No one but God knows better how much i wanted this career. It was even the reason why i worked so hard for my O levels, even the reason why i chose the course i took in poly... but now i jus am not so sure anymore. I have to look back and understand the reasons that led me to want this job. Was it the stature, prestige, money? Or expectations, fleshly desires or God given leading? If i stop now, would it be giving up? Or because i truly feel no joy whatsoever doing this anymore? Do these times have a fruit to harvest in the future?

I feel worse today than i have ever felt. Jus stuck between making a decision to continue or not. I've been taught not to look at the emotions, but i cant seem to. I think i have to make a decision soon. And be definite about it. But i want it to be God's decision. Because i will need His grace for it.

Some instructors here don't even like their jobs. Many want to move on into the commercial flying sector. Half my course has lost it's motivation too. Many times i tell Him that if i were to continue, He has to give me e grace for it. And i thank Him for the blessings He has placed, but i am quite stuck in an emotional crossroad. Tears of joy or pain, He catches every single drop.

Thanks mum and dad for the advice. And i know i have he support and love of many. I think whatever comes next needs to be between God and me.