Friday, I flew the first sortie I have ever failed since I got here. Well, I was the last one left without that distinguished record of having failed at least one sortie. I don’t know why but I was initially really relaxed about it. Bordering on joyful. So much so my friends were surprised and said that I did not look like someone who had just failed. Maybe it was because my flying for the week was over. And I was looking forward to the weekend, plus Monday was not a flying day. Maybe it was because of other reasons.
The instructor debriefed me and he was obviously severely displeased. He went on to say a few stuff about my mentality and problems. He expressed that he really did not want to fly with me anymore. He even finished the conversation saying it was beyond my capability. Think he was referring to military flying. He did make it clear that it was not flying ability that was the problem though. I left the debrief with the distinct feeling of being forced to make a decision as to whether to quit or not… I wonder if I am going home soon too…
Today we went out to enjoy ourselves. Especially for the two guys who would be leaving us. And they expressed a desire to go to the casino. So we did. We took 20 dollars from each one and went to play a wheel spinning game. Cos one of them had said that he observed the “cherry” appearing everytime the wheel was spun. We got so bored of betting the same amount on the same thing and we were still breaking even. So I suggested we jus had fun, take a portion each and place our bets on whichever each of us wanted. So we did.
When we did place our bets, it seemed we had found the best way and most effective way to win. Something made me go for the second hardest bet though. It had like a 1 in 25 or so chance but gave a return of 1 to 23. So I betted on the money train. The second time I did so, we won! We went from negative to like 75 bucks richer! Haha… I even won a second time betting on a difficult one, earning 11 times what I bet. We decided to get out the moment we lost. And so we did. Well, half our expensive dinner was paid for!
Anyway, mum and dad dun worry I aint addicted to gambling. So I wont be doing it on a regular basis. It was only for my friends leaving. Haha… Monday’s a rest day, so at least I got a bit more time for stuff this week. Wonder if I am gg home soon…
3 comments:
Dearest son,
If you failed your sortie this round; I am not surprised. You said you do not know the reason why. Maybe I can make a guess. It could be that you were affected badly by Andrew coming back and subconsciously were thinking of giving up. That is why you were relaxed even though you failed.
Don't give up son. You should have a good talk with your instructor when he said it was not your flying skill but your attitude. We should be more open to comments and improve on that. It could be that a certain kind of attitude in you may affect your flying. Approach him humbly and ask him for advice and am sure he will guide you. Ask your Officer what you can do to improve your attitude if it is your attitude problem.
In any profession; the attitude must compliment the
skill. It will be a waste if the person has the skill but not the proper attitude. Improper attitude can be a hindrance in whatever pathway/career we undertake.
Son, I tell you this because I worked in a system near similar to yours ( involving juniors being trained on the job by trained staff )so I understand that sometimes when the senior scolds, is quite unbearable. Mummy also had undergone those days.
People in our line also sometimes find our juniors having certain "attitude" that we cannot accept; that we cannot help but tell the person off. However this telling off is in a fits of frustration and anger; and we will still be guiding them as the days go on. If the junior can talk to us; we are most willing to share with them our experience and sometimes, when they bother to tell us their problems, we are also willing to listen and share. Sometimes is also through the juniors sharing that the senior can understand that junior better. Likewise, your trainers may sound harsh but sometimes when you approach them and confide in them, you may be surprised how helpful and understanding they can be. Sometimes we need to give ourselves the chance to know the other parties better and also give others the chance to know you as you know them.
Boy, I know and understand that training is tough. Be strong and take hearts in what you do. Don't get yourself be emotionally affected in any way.
FEEL FREE TO CALL WHEN YOU ARE FEELING DOWN. TAKE GOOD CARE OF YOURSELF> MUMMY LOVES YOU.
what is the will of God... He knows ahead of you... as far as i am concerned... you did good... as far as He is concerned... you know the answer...
I dont know all the facts leading to it, As far i am deeply concern, its in His Hands.... and your i have said it many times before... you know my stand... take care and May the good Lord always grant you His Grace and His Mercy...for as in my weakness His Grace is sufficient
what is the will of God... He knows ahead of you... as far as i am concerned... you did good... as far as He is concerned... you know the answer...
I dont know all the facts leading to it, As far i am deeply concern, its in His Hands.... and your i have said it many times before... you know my stand... take care and May the good Lord always grant you His Grace and His Mercy...for as in my weakness His Grace is sufficient
dc
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