Part 2

This blog's titled part 2 cos it's the 2nd for tonight, and it's about an event called Part 2.

Got a lot to reflect about my time here. I know myself. I have thought some bad thoughts. done some bad things. And not been near a faithful servant at all.. Yet every disappointment with myself is only self righteousness. And God know He has bestowed upon me such grace and mercy. In a time of self perceived darkness, He has brought me up, and embraced me, used me.

Saturday night was our Basic Handling Test Dinner. Meant to commemorate our successful passing the BHT. THe final exam before we leave here. Though technically we have not even taken it, but it has to be arranged as a course. And after the dinner, there was the unofficial Part 2. And we proceeded to this strip club. Having nowhere else to go, and no driving license, and being part of the course, i had to go.

Well, one by one my coursemates were sat down below the stage upon which the girls danced. And they got their lap dances one by one. Me? i sat down initially. But found myself walkin away soon after. So i stood at the back watching. I didnt want to seem self righteous, nor did i want to spoil the mood, but i found myself strangely submitted to God. It even reached a point where one of my course mates started shouting my name. And my course mates all followed that up! i gripped a table with an iron grip and simply refused to go. And some instructors kinda looked at me "one kind".

I had been listening to this CD about evangelism. Lost people were everywhere. We didnt have to look for them, cos they were everywhere! And evangelism was something as simple as a mention of God, of Jesus. It was still a seed sowned! And for months, when i have been nowhere near a testimony for Him, amidst the pressures to behave in a "Christian" manner. But here because of this strip club, God was going to use me four times in 2 nights.

One instructor started talking to me. And i began a little slowly, questioning in my mind if i was really going to start talkin about Him to this instructor. Somethin i have not done in months. Then i remembered the CD, and began sharing my thoughts and beliefs. I was sharing about Christ in a strip club! It came to a point where he had no answers to me. And i believe that moment will serve to be a seed sown. Then came the next instructor. About 40-50 years of age maybe? But i saw a lack of wisdom. God's wisdom. And to him too i mentioned God. Saying i saw no reason to be "with the flow". Then came another instructor, and the same mention. Finally, whilst we were driving back to base the following night, my coursemate started talking about his gf being a christian and stuff. And he asked me if i really could hear Him! That started me sharing again.

Looking back i think He wants to show me that of my efforts i could and would end up nowhere. But only through Him. I am desperate for Him. I need to be even more.

Here's somethin to share. David therefore pleaded with God for the child, and David fasted and went in and lay all night on the ground. So the elders of his house arose and went to him, to raise him up from the ground. But he would not, nor did he eat food with them. Then on the seventh day it came to pass that the child died. And the servants od David were afraid to tell him that the child was dead. For they said, "Indeed, while the child was alive we spoke to him, and he would not heed our voice. How can we tell him that the child is dead? He may do some harm!" When David saw that his servants were whispering, David perceived that the child was dead. Therefore David said to his servants, "Is this child dead?" and they said, "He is dead."
So David arose from the ground, washed and anointed himself, and changed his clothes; and he went into the house of the Lord and WORSHIPED. Then he went to his own house; and when he requested, they set food before him, and he ate... ..."Who can tell whether the Lord will be gracious to me, that the child may live?"

That is grace. Even when the child died, David wasnt disappointed, wasn't mourning. He worshiped! He ate! Because he had a revelation of what grace is! That he did not deserve it. But totally relied on the Lord's mercy. How many times have i been disappointed and sad?