Friday, May 27, 2005

Point of Grace

Today in the mess, i talked to a Christian brother... He seemed to be in some kind of fix, saying he cant bring himself to believe God, that everytime it comes to some Christian thing, he just rejects it... saying he rejects God's will so and so on... He worried that he had fought off His will so much he was unacceptable to God anymore... He wasnt sure how far eternal salvation would last... nor to believe God or the devil...

so i told him about grace, about God. About the Christian life being simply one thing... receiving His grace. That receiving involved just opening one's hand. No stretching out, no taking. But simply resting. That some of his misconceptions came as a result of insufficient knowledge of God. About His will, love and grace. That at the point of his salvation, he was as a sheep. And even if he gets lost, Jesus, the gate and shepherd, would rejoice more over finding him than the 99.

I was amazed at the words coming out of my mouth, and with the confidence i spoke with. I found myself speaking life into myself. Everything i had been reading, listening to and even questioning had at that point come out of my mouth as one perfect sense.

If i offered him a 100 bucks for him to receive at any time of his liking in an account in which he had the card and pin. He might reject it the 1st, 2nd, 3rd day, week, month, year. But 20 yrs down the road when 100 bucks lie the difference between freedom and bankruptcy, he would still take and use it. In the same way, God's grace is always there, at any time and place, waiting for us to receive it!

I could even make sense of a sermon of PP's near admission into a mental institution in the past. I refered him to saul, who out of zeal persecuted and murdered the children of God, but when he believed unto Jesus, God saw him a new man - Paul, in Christ. Who God used to move mightily in His kingdom. And surely he could do no worse than Paul had.

He said i was so holy. Yet i remembered Jesus asking why they called him good. Becos only God was good. He was God! And i told him i was not holy, nor good. For if i were to state out my sins daily before him, he would be shocked. But that He has led me to a point of grace. A stage of realisation of what grace is, and just one of many ahead. That what He shown and did with me, He could do the same for him.

Christian life isnt about what we can do or how well we can do things. Not even how moral we are. It has one mission, role and responsibility - to receive from God His grace. Knowing nothing, doing nothing and deserving nothing, we simply believed unto salvation. Suddenly after our salvation, becos of this new nature given to us, we form little laws in our minds about how we mus live our lives. And work ourselves beyond exhaustion to get to a place we could never have reached anyway...

But it is an onward and upward receiving of grace. Stumbling or not, still perfect in His will and plan. Our final destination is still the Promised Land. Becos we believed God, believed Jesus. Everyday i am learning His grace. And how wonderful and beautiful it is! Lord the revelation is amazing. Let it burst forth! I wanna see and reach your point of grace.

Eph 2:4 But God, who is rich in mercy, for His great love with which He loved us (even when we were dead in sins) has made us alive together with Christ (by grace you are saved), and has raised us up together and made us sit together in the heavenlies in Christ Jesus, so that in the ages to come He might show the exceeding riches of His grace in His kindness toward us through Christ Jesus. For by grace you are saved through faith, and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God, not of works, lest anyone should boast.

Tuesday, May 24, 2005

Father, give me Grace

Been reading a book by Joyce Meyer about the Grace of God. Same book i bought for my instructor as a traditional gift we give to those who sent us solo.

It says that Grace is not only unmerited favour, it is also the power of God available to meet our needs. And that it is received by believing rather than through human effort. Blessings cannot be bought by faith, but only received.
It speaks also of frustration. That when we get frustrated it is because we are trying to achieve something by our self efforts. But to receive from God, i need to humble myself, ask and trust God that He knows the situation i am in, and will deliver me. To be still and know that He is God, and that He knows what's best for me in every situation. Worrying is a form of fleshly work, trying to figure out how to save myself than trusting in Him for deliverance.
Just as perfect love casts out fear, so God's grace expels all traces of anxiety.
It seems to me that love and grace are so intertwined, as is fear and anxiety. I pray that i will be able to repent, humble myself, and truly live in the grace of God. My future and identity is in Christ!

Recently, some complications about my surname cropped up. Apparently, my employer doesn't have my records as Chua but only as Cai. Hmm.. Even got a pink slip (discipline thing) because of not changing my name on the flying boards given time.. Well, my name went from the initials Chua L to Cai L. Actually, Cail sounds pretty cool... haha...

One of my friends in the new junior course talked to me today, asking my opinion of Calvanism? Somethin like new doctrines or somethin... Well i shared my part and trust that God really spoke through me to him. I hope he can get sermon cds from NCC soon... I think he needs it some...

To end, i just wanna remind myself now and whenever i read this, that Grace is to be received, not earned. And that whenever i get frustrated, i can just say "Father, give me grace."

Monday, May 16, 2005

Embrace

Feel that i'm in the midst of change... i cant explain it, but i just know it on the inside. And i realise i hold a different thought process from before. It seems like i dont fear flying as much as before. And i do enjoy this state of mind. I pray to God it's not my imagination but a real and permanent change by Him.

Surely the recent spate of conversations and daily devotionals i have read, are not coincidental in subject. They speak of embracing what i have, living in joy and rejoicing in the Lord. And also living a worryless life in Christ. Playing out our responsibilities, but leaving the outcome in the hands of Christ.

Well i am flying tmr.. with an instructor i don particularly like.. hmm.. but i thank God He has given me the victory.

Thursday, May 12, 2005

God's way.

Looks like i only have 5 min to write this blog... hmm.. where to start...

Have not been doing well recently in flying. I think it's cos if my long lay off when i went back to Singapore. When i came back to Aus, it seemed like my instrument flying was worse then when it first started. Got quite distressed when my sorties didnt turn out good. Today i tried to fly one particular sortie again.

Something different about today's flight though... Everytime i stepped out onto the apron, and everytime i breathed the words "Thank you Jesus", i somehow didnt feel the peace. But today, i looked to the sky and said, "Lord, i trust in You. Thank you Jesus.", it was like a peace gripped me from within. And when i looked at my aircraft, it was like a turn back through time to my Youth Flying Club days. When i actually felt excited about flying. When i actually enjoyed it. It was a special thing that had been missing since i came here. I pray that today would just be the beginning of many days when i would look at the day ahead get excited about it, if this is truly where God wants me to be.

Another new course came in today, and in a week or two, my course would be the senior course... Months ago i never thought of this... Met Weiming too, from my church. I told him the same things i told other brothers who came to me, that the only thing i knew was that God's way wasnt quitting, and that we needed to trust Him that if this is where He wants us, He would give us the grace to fly. And if He wanted us out of here, He would open the way too...

Well i think i better go rest soon.
Thank you Lord. I believe You are my Lord and Saviour. You are my God, and i am your child. A child of God, that's what i am.
I am the righteousness of God in Christ. And i will always praise your name!